What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why are so many people anti-Trump? People didn't like Obama either, but he was the president, so people didn't do this. What makes Trump different?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

True - how I loved my mum!

If everyone hates censorship so much, why do those “censorship-free” alternative social media sites always fail?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What kind of pleasure do gay men get from being bottom? The idea is very appealing to me but in practice it's quite painful.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What! how could you do that?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

When gallery photos are deleted at the same time, why are Google photos also deleted?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you know what she said mum?

Eagles star Saquon Barkley stunningly hints he could retire ‘out of nowhere’ - New York Post

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”